Wanderings...

Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with Four Brothers, John Singleton, etc. at ad nauseum. I’m writing for fun.

Summary: Sofi 1^st person POV. Sofi talks about what she finds attractive about Angel.

A/N: This is unbeta-ed, so all mistakes are my own.

I’m also working on a longer Jack-centric piece that I would really like to have beta-ed. Any volunteers? Just message me.

This is set post movie. All movie rules apply.

One more note. The “Ricky” that Sofi briefly mentions at the very beginning of this ficlet is Sofi’s “Serious Boyfriend” from the beginning of the movie, that shoots at her and Angel.

***( The Reason )

Ricky doesn’t understand why I left him, so quickly, for Angel. I tried to explain it to him. Mostly so he wouldn’t come shooting at us again, but…

Bobby calls me Loco Ono. He is afraid that I will split the brothers apart, fracture them. He hates me because he’s afraid that I’m going to force Angel to choose me over them. Ok, so it’s true that I poke at this at times, tell Angel he can’t go out with them, or yell about him being gone for so long. Angel will just give me his Cheshire Cat smile when I do, though, because he knows, and he accepts what I’m doing. That I am not serious about it, and that I love to rattle Bobby’s chain. It’s part of what he loves about me.

Tonight, Bobby came to me and told me that Angel was “planning on doin’ something stupid” and that I should “fuckin’ tell him no!” Telling me that it was just grief that was motivating Angel’s actions, and not any real love for me. He is afraid that I am going to take another brother away from him.

What he doesn’t understand is that, as much as I love Angel, as much as I am attracted to him, it is his family, the brotherhood that Bobby so wants to protect, that I want. He thinks that I will destroy his family, but I want more than anything to just be a part of it.

Angel has told me that Bobby was alone for much of his childhood, until Evelyn brought him in. For all that, he seems to have forgotten what it’s like to see a family, and to just want to be part of it. It’s true, even if Angel were just himself, I would still be attracted to him, but would I consider running off just to be with him? Would I risk being shot at on an almost weekly basis? No, no.

But his family brings out the best in Angel. Loyalty. Respect. Love. And for those things, I would leave everything behind. To be a part of a family so full of love, even if it is hidden behind bad jokes and glancing blows. They are all good men, with good hearts. Evelyn, Jack, Jerry, and yes, even Bobby, have taken pieces of my heart, right along with Angel. I would be so proud to be able to stand tall. To be able to call myself Sofia Mercer.

That is why, when Angel asks me to marry him tonight, I’ll say yes.

Tags: fanfiction, four brother

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bobby_and_jack.

Title: Cold
Author: Moi,

wanderamaranth.
Rating: To be extremely safe, PG-13.
Betas: The super-delightful

monkey_chan and

angle1buffy. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with this movie, the actors, or hell, anything to do with the film industry whatsoever.
Summary: After the shooting of the paid hitters, Jack just wants to get warm.

***
He shook under the covers, his body refusing to get warm. Only part of it was the cold, Jack knew.
Another, larger part, was guilt over two who would never be warm again. He pulled his childhood comforter up under his chin and shivered, contemplating getting up and getting into the thermals he had brought with him. Or possibly taking a hot shower. Or drinking some coffee, even if it would keep him up all night. Anything, just to feel warm again.

"Jackie?" Bobby stood in the doorway, watching as Jack quivered in his bed, a too-close reminder of how he was when he first came to their Ma's house, a broken little boy, terrified of his own shadow. At Jack's lack of a response, Bobby sighed to himself, and thought, Oh, man. You're my conscience, Jack-o. Maybe if those shooters had known someone like you, they'd have never taken that job on Ma.

He doesn't say it, though. Mercers never say anything so girly.

Instead he says, "They killed Ma, Cracker Jack. They deserved it."

Jack's reply, when it came, was barely a whisper, and Bobby had to strain to hear him. "But did we deserve to kill them?"

"Yes." Bobby said instantly, and even though Jack knew that Bobby misunderstood him, he still believes him. Bobby believed it was their right, killing those that killed their mother. Jack tended to think it was their punishment. For not being the type of children that Evelyn deserved, for not being here for her when she obviously needed them. They deserved to be kept awake at night, shivering, thinking about those they had beaten, broken, and killed. Thinking about how they'd never live up to their mother's example.

But Jack would never say that out loud. The last thing he wanted was for Bobbby to call him a queer, on top of everything else. He felt cold enough as it was.

"It's cold, Bobby."

Jack heard Bobby shifting his weight against the doorframe. Probably confused about this apparently
unrelated subject.

"Yeah, it is, princess. So put on some clothes under there, for Christ's sake."

Jack ignores him, and continues, "I can see it. Them. And the snow."

At that Bobby stiffens, cursing himself for several types of an idiot. He knew Jack's case history--hell, he made it a point to know about each of his brother's pasts...but Jack had, undoubtedly, the crappiest, next to his own. Worse, maybe, because he was so feminine.

"C'mon, Cracker Jack. Move over." Bobby moved beside the bed, holding up the cover to get underneath, trying to ignore Jack's nudity. Jack scooted over, wondering why his brother would offer, but not looking at it too closely. With Bobby, if you poked at any sign of affection, he backed off, and never offered again.

He folded him into his arms, putting his arm over his stomach, and pulling him towards himself. Bobby rested his chin on his shoulder, and they laid silently for several moments. Jack's shakes started to smooth out, and he admitted quietly, "I'm scared."

He's surprised when, instead of a smart comment, he just gets an equally quiet, "Why?" murmured in his ear. But Jack doesn't answer. He doesn't say, "Because I think they deserved it, too." Doesn't say how terrified it makes him to think that he believes that anyone deserves to die, for anything. How close it makes him to those he left behind when Evelyn took him in.

Bobby sighed again, as Jack's shakes became worse once more. He pulled Jack a bit closer to him. "Close your eyes, man. We gots shit ton to do tomorrow. They're gone. Can't hurt no one's family no more."

Jack returned Bobby's sigh, trying to settle himself, to allow the warmth of Bobby's body soothe him, as it always had before.

He still felt the shock, the horror. The bite of cold from the snow falling, and the curiosity as well, the wondering of, Could I? Would I?

It wasn't the first murder Jack had ever seen. It probably wouldn't be the last. But Jack knew, as long as Bobby was there to hold him afterwards, and bring him back to warmth, and life, that he would be o.k. That they'd both be o.k. They were Mercers, after all.

***

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wanderamaranth

Wanderings...

with a fistful of amaranth

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